Time with Toddlers

As everyone knows toddlers are all about the me. Though parents hear "me" and "mine" all the time, toddlers love nothing more than "me time" with their parents. One-on-one time where Mom or Dad is giving them their complete and total attention is the toddler dream.

Debbie Caldwell, a mother of two from Lancaster, Calif., recalls the alone time she had with her toddlers fondly. It was so important she would schedule it in. "I would schedule out in my daytimer Sunday night all the things I wanted to do with them throughout the week," Caldwell says. "After leaving the workforce, I thought my cherished daytimer would no longer be needed, but boy, was I wrong. It helped me stay focused on daily home life, which I wasn't used to."

Caldwell grew up in a single parent household and knew that wasn't what she wanted for her own children. "I didn't know what I was going to do when I grew up, but I knew when I had children, whatever it took, I was going to be there for them daily," Caldwell says. "I never returned to executive sales after I was pregnant."

Caldwell made up many creative ways to spend time with her toddlers including cloud time, where she would set a timer and they would go outside and watch the clouds until the timer went off. She would also have picnic lunches all over the house – she says vinyl table cloths are perfect for catching toddler messes and accidents.

"As trying as it is sometimes, I love being a mom!" Caldwell says.

The Importance of Me Time

Nina Sazer O'Donnell, Education Director at United Way of America, says me time is all about connecting with your child in a loving way.

"One of the most important things we can do as parents is to build loving, nurturing relationships with our children," Sazer O'Donnell says. "That includes parents, grandparents, informal caregivers and professional childcare providers who care for children daily. Young children develop in an environment of relationships, which helps hardwire the basic structure – or architecture – of their brains. New research shows that it's loving, nurturing relationships that drive the engine of human development. So the environment these adults create is critical to the future development – social, emotional, cognitive – of the child."

Sazer O'Donnell says that parents don't have to have a Ph.D. in child development. It's about the connection. Education and stimulation will happen, but parents don't need to take a lesson planning approach. "Notice what interests your toddler and go from there," she says.

Using Everyday Moments

Sazer O'Donnell says that most parents are worried about building education into quality time or making every moment a learning moment. Quality me time with your toddler is about the bonding. Relax and have fun!

"From birth, learning is always happening for children – every second of every waking hour," Sazer O'Donnell says. "They're learning at home, at Grandma's house, in childcare or in a fun family outing. Adults help children learn when they pay attention to what children are working hard to learn and encourage and extend that learning."

Sazer O'Donnell says parents should keep in mind that two things matter most:

• Look for ways to connect emotionally with your child, in loving ways.
• Follow the child's lead. Exploring is learning, so when a toddler smashes her hand into her oatmeal, don't chastise her – let her explore. And then engage her in a fun cleanup game afterwards.

"One way to combine the two is to look for opportunities in the context of everyday life to create fun learning games – while you're cooking dinner, running errands or shopping for groceries," Sazer O'Donnell says.

Activities Toddlers Love

Children learn much like scientists do. They form a theory, test and revise that theory and form their understanding of how the world works through that theory. A toddler's natural curiosity about the world around her is the motivation for learning. In spending me time with a toddler, parents can connect with that very important work.

"Your child at 18 to 24 months is becoming his own person," Sazer O'Donnell says. "His sense of independence is growing as he starts to walk, run and climb with greater ease. This is a wonderful time to help your child's rapidly growing vocabulary by talking to him about everything, and reading together every day. You may notice that as your child approaches 2, she does less imitative play and more fantasy or pretend play, plays with toys for longer periods of time, and enjoys doing things for herself."

Me time with toddlers doesn't have to be complicated. Your toddler is very simple, really. He wants to spend time with you, doing what comes naturally – playing, exploring and learning.